You know people say that you are supposed to have time alone with God and a time to study and i agree but sometimes you just run across a passage in your time with God when you are like what?
today was one of those days this is what i read today.
so im not sure what this means and please know my heart in no way is this me making light of my time with the Lord but i was just utterly confused. But that is probably from my lack of understanding and one day it will make perfect sense in where God is leading me but honestly i was really excited about the fact that Ezekiel didn't just get told to tell the Israelites that they were going to be under siege but he wanted him to show them what it would be like. Wow yeah God greatest idea ever!!! No lie this guy was chained up and had to lay on one side for about 13 months plus heat his makeshift bread with cow dung. If that didn't get their attention nothing would
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Smile for Jesus
yeah well today i was going to bk for a chicken sandwich and there was this lady at the gas station across the street holding a sign that says smile Jesus loves you. I laughed only because she had a cheek to cheek kindergarten finger paint purple smile on her face much larger than any clown smile I had ever seen.
Plus, she wasn't smiling and she was drinking a gas station soft drink. Older woman with sign drinking not smiling with the biggest purple smile drawn on her face. Do you seriously have to fake that.
Honestly i could post about how stupid this is but really do we smile? Do we showcase the joy that God has provided? Do we have the Kool-aid purple smile on or the joy of God shone on our face? Smile Jesus Loves You!!!!
out
Plus, she wasn't smiling and she was drinking a gas station soft drink. Older woman with sign drinking not smiling with the biggest purple smile drawn on her face. Do you seriously have to fake that.
Honestly i could post about how stupid this is but really do we smile? Do we showcase the joy that God has provided? Do we have the Kool-aid purple smile on or the joy of God shone on our face? Smile Jesus Loves You!!!!
out
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
yo what's up
yeah so i haven't blogged in awhile. Here's an update:
1. Looking at a black 07 mustang black interior really pumped about getting a new car.
2. Hanging out with David and Jesse has been much fun over the past month or two.
3. I think that Luscious should be my rap alias.
4. Jeff and Carmen are about to get married i'm exicted and just a lil jealous but our time is coming dear.
5. The new area thing at work is driving me nuts.
6. Looking for a job still hopefully some news in a couple of weeks for those of you who are interested. greer or greenville area let me know if you know someone please!!
I've been busy so sorry for the blog delay love you guys and can't wait to hang out with everyone whenever that may be
out
1. Looking at a black 07 mustang black interior really pumped about getting a new car.
2. Hanging out with David and Jesse has been much fun over the past month or two.
3. I think that Luscious should be my rap alias.
4. Jeff and Carmen are about to get married i'm exicted and just a lil jealous but our time is coming dear.
5. The new area thing at work is driving me nuts.
6. Looking for a job still hopefully some news in a couple of weeks for those of you who are interested. greer or greenville area let me know if you know someone please!!
I've been busy so sorry for the blog delay love you guys and can't wait to hang out with everyone whenever that may be
out
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
being an example
well people will say sometimes well i would never become a christian because of this person or this group of people and you try and say well you have to look past them and look to Christ and we expect that to change their lives in some way. but look at this:
1 Corinthians 4:16
Paul says for the Corinthians to imitate him! how crazy is that could you imagine telling people "live like me"
paul continues later in the book with this
wow i was just kinda shocked by this. word of mouth is the strongest advertising that a company can have but did you know for every one positive comment there have been about 7 or 8 negative ones!
you don't get many chances unfortunately but you have to live your life as an example and have the boldness in Christ to know that people are looking at you and welcome it.
so im going to give you a few examples in my life that i have looked to:
Jeff Hill, this guy is bold bold bold. He gets a word and he sticks to his guns. People are afraid of the stands that he takes most of the time because they aren't willing to sacrifice as much as him. Me and him relate so well because i balance him out. I appreciate his boldness and his stand and desire a simdge of that for my own life.
Mrs. Robyn, teacher. She can get a point across in so many different ways but she is so humble and seeks for God to be the true teacher. Understand mrs. robyn that you are a tool that God has continued to use in my life and in so many other lives. Please don't ever get discouraged you are awesome.
Kristen Barfield, you think you can relate to people you have no idea!! People literally flock to her like soap in the bathroom. She is incredible with people and with kids. kids adore her and they see people for who they are they really do and she is just so incredible she has a reserved boldness that she only lets me see i guess but so wise when it happens. I wish i could relate to people in the way that she does.
Toddles, i waited for you to have kids for so dang long man. Todd is always happy it seems, i've seen him frustrated maybe once but there is always a smile on his face. I haven't had the privelege to know his heart as much bcuz i was in high school at the time but he loves people and is so humble. The only thing wrong with him is that he's a clemson fan. i really do see how brayden and anniston just cling to you. Thanks for showing people how to reach people.
Jack Ronald, you are alot like me, you desire excellence, business and leadership qualities about you are undeniable. You will not settle for second best. You will do whatever it takes to reach people. You build relationships with those you work with better than i've seen done and i desire that for my life.
my dad and charlie bishop, i know most of you that read this will be like who is that? i will write a post about him later but these two men have taught me all about servanthood. its not about me its about God use what you have with all you have. Be a man open the door for people, shake hands, live up to your promises carry a big stick not a big mouth. These are lessons that i've learned from you. I desire to be able to make the sacrifices that my dad made and continue to know that it was the right thing even when it sucks.
mom and stacie, are you kidding me they're nuts! jk but talk about boldness me and mom clash honestly because we are both strong willed leaders. but i wish i could have half of the discernment that my mom has. she is so in touch with the Holy Spirit its nuts literally insane. Stacie is a reserved leader that is sometimes shy about stepping up to the plate but me and her have a bond that cannot be broken and i hope that i can have as much fun in life as she has already had.
thanks guys so much to learn from all of you and you all mean so much to me. Please continue to live in a way where God is always glorified in all that you do.
o u t
1 Corinthians 4:16
Paul says for the Corinthians to imitate him! how crazy is that could you imagine telling people "live like me"
paul continues later in the book with this
wow i was just kinda shocked by this. word of mouth is the strongest advertising that a company can have but did you know for every one positive comment there have been about 7 or 8 negative ones!
you don't get many chances unfortunately but you have to live your life as an example and have the boldness in Christ to know that people are looking at you and welcome it.
so im going to give you a few examples in my life that i have looked to:
Jeff Hill, this guy is bold bold bold. He gets a word and he sticks to his guns. People are afraid of the stands that he takes most of the time because they aren't willing to sacrifice as much as him. Me and him relate so well because i balance him out. I appreciate his boldness and his stand and desire a simdge of that for my own life.
Mrs. Robyn, teacher. She can get a point across in so many different ways but she is so humble and seeks for God to be the true teacher. Understand mrs. robyn that you are a tool that God has continued to use in my life and in so many other lives. Please don't ever get discouraged you are awesome.
Kristen Barfield, you think you can relate to people you have no idea!! People literally flock to her like soap in the bathroom. She is incredible with people and with kids. kids adore her and they see people for who they are they really do and she is just so incredible she has a reserved boldness that she only lets me see i guess but so wise when it happens. I wish i could relate to people in the way that she does.
Toddles, i waited for you to have kids for so dang long man. Todd is always happy it seems, i've seen him frustrated maybe once but there is always a smile on his face. I haven't had the privelege to know his heart as much bcuz i was in high school at the time but he loves people and is so humble. The only thing wrong with him is that he's a clemson fan. i really do see how brayden and anniston just cling to you. Thanks for showing people how to reach people.
Jack Ronald, you are alot like me, you desire excellence, business and leadership qualities about you are undeniable. You will not settle for second best. You will do whatever it takes to reach people. You build relationships with those you work with better than i've seen done and i desire that for my life.
my dad and charlie bishop, i know most of you that read this will be like who is that? i will write a post about him later but these two men have taught me all about servanthood. its not about me its about God use what you have with all you have. Be a man open the door for people, shake hands, live up to your promises carry a big stick not a big mouth. These are lessons that i've learned from you. I desire to be able to make the sacrifices that my dad made and continue to know that it was the right thing even when it sucks.
mom and stacie, are you kidding me they're nuts! jk but talk about boldness me and mom clash honestly because we are both strong willed leaders. but i wish i could have half of the discernment that my mom has. she is so in touch with the Holy Spirit its nuts literally insane. Stacie is a reserved leader that is sometimes shy about stepping up to the plate but me and her have a bond that cannot be broken and i hope that i can have as much fun in life as she has already had.
thanks guys so much to learn from all of you and you all mean so much to me. Please continue to live in a way where God is always glorified in all that you do.
o u t
Friday, July 13, 2007
finally a free day
well today is friday and no class today....yayayayay!
looking for plans on saturday any ideas let me know. plus im really tired.
you can laugh at this by the way: i have a modeling and acting contract and earlier this week i had a message on my answering machine at home asking if i wanted to schedule an appointment with a national talent scout. will i call back to set up an appointment probably not but it was funny cuz i haven't heard from these guys in like a year and a half.
becks is hear in america and frankly im pumped because that means there is gonna be some more coverage of soccer. And i am super excited about that but im gone now to basically waste time until work.
out
looking for plans on saturday any ideas let me know. plus im really tired.
you can laugh at this by the way: i have a modeling and acting contract and earlier this week i had a message on my answering machine at home asking if i wanted to schedule an appointment with a national talent scout. will i call back to set up an appointment probably not but it was funny cuz i haven't heard from these guys in like a year and a half.
becks is hear in america and frankly im pumped because that means there is gonna be some more coverage of soccer. And i am super excited about that but im gone now to basically waste time until work.
out
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
the test
so 2 corinthians 13. paul wants us to examine ourselves to see if we are in the faith.
Paul has been battling for the people of Corinth's attention throughout the letter and not only that but also has been battling for the people themselves.
so Paul in this last chapter wants the people to see that they must examine themselves in the faith. that if they do that they will see Paul as he truly is a messenger of truth.
he says that when they examine themselves and when they past the test they will also approve of Paul and the group of ministers with him and reject the outsiders.
now this should be evidence enough but Paul also tells them to do the right thing? why would he do this knowing that if they examine themselves in the Spirit that God would show them that Paul is right and he cares for them and his message is from God.
why would he ask them to do the right thing? well number one it would be weird if he asked them to do the wrong thing. but we see Paul's heart here. the consequences of them saying Paul we don't think that you are of God is not as important as the people doing what is right.
are we worried about the consequences of what people will think of us or do we really really want the best of them. did it bother Paul i think that you can tell that it did throughout this letter but Paul remained true to his purpose. To see God do a work in the Corinthians lives.
is that my passion? could i honestly say that i am more worried about people learning from me than the circumstances of my actions. honestly no i can't but i can tell you boldly that my response is changing. And that is all an act of God.
God is shaping me to serve others to obey even when it makes me upset and to live a life as an example for Christ. see is it enough to teach excellently and for people to hear my words and learn from them....i guess it is.
But do people look at my lifestyle and see that i live up to the things that i teach that i am an example not just through speech but through purity deed and service.
i am learning these things. I know that God is moving in my midst. I pray that everyone would carefully read Galatians 5. This involves the test that Paul so earnestly desires that we take.
realize these two things:
it is a continuous battle (Gal. 5:17)
and
that it is not a negotiated peace it is our execution of the sinful nature totally
(Gal. 5:24)
it is our responsibility to walk in the Spirit and also to crucify the flesh
the battle will not end in this life and yet we cannot negotiate peace with the flesh.
we must fight
out
Paul has been battling for the people of Corinth's attention throughout the letter and not only that but also has been battling for the people themselves.
so Paul in this last chapter wants the people to see that they must examine themselves in the faith. that if they do that they will see Paul as he truly is a messenger of truth.
he says that when they examine themselves and when they past the test they will also approve of Paul and the group of ministers with him and reject the outsiders.
now this should be evidence enough but Paul also tells them to do the right thing? why would he do this knowing that if they examine themselves in the Spirit that God would show them that Paul is right and he cares for them and his message is from God.
why would he ask them to do the right thing? well number one it would be weird if he asked them to do the wrong thing. but we see Paul's heart here. the consequences of them saying Paul we don't think that you are of God is not as important as the people doing what is right.
are we worried about the consequences of what people will think of us or do we really really want the best of them. did it bother Paul i think that you can tell that it did throughout this letter but Paul remained true to his purpose. To see God do a work in the Corinthians lives.
is that my passion? could i honestly say that i am more worried about people learning from me than the circumstances of my actions. honestly no i can't but i can tell you boldly that my response is changing. And that is all an act of God.
God is shaping me to serve others to obey even when it makes me upset and to live a life as an example for Christ. see is it enough to teach excellently and for people to hear my words and learn from them....i guess it is.
But do people look at my lifestyle and see that i live up to the things that i teach that i am an example not just through speech but through purity deed and service.
i am learning these things. I know that God is moving in my midst. I pray that everyone would carefully read Galatians 5. This involves the test that Paul so earnestly desires that we take.
realize these two things:
it is a continuous battle (Gal. 5:17)
and
that it is not a negotiated peace it is our execution of the sinful nature totally
(Gal. 5:24)
it is our responsibility to walk in the Spirit and also to crucify the flesh
the battle will not end in this life and yet we cannot negotiate peace with the flesh.
we must fight
out
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
hey hey hey
well after yesterdays crazy post i know that you are all thinking im close to committing suicide or somehow am going to raise an awareness that my life is worse than yours.
i also hope you understand that neither of these are close to my desire. I am however trying to let people in the doors that i have put up.
i have so much to say but man is God sovereign today in 2 Corinthians Paul talked about the thorn in his flesh and how when he is weak that is when he is made strong.
wow
one more time
wow
so now im not saying that i have some thorn in my flesh because when you study this i think that its much more than just a certain situation but something that you can not rid yourself of. God wouldn't take the thorn from Paul but instead chose to leave it there.
but also understand that God uses things to draw us closer to Him and mold us into what He wants us.
so understand that God is working and always is.
so now im waiting for the doors to be open somewhere else. thanks for the encouragement and love you all.
also for those of you bible junkies out there i read where it is actually a biblical principle to major on the majors and minor on the minors so look for this soon im sure there are people ready to argue but honestly im not looking for that just will relay some info that i gathered.
love you guys.
out
i also hope you understand that neither of these are close to my desire. I am however trying to let people in the doors that i have put up.
i have so much to say but man is God sovereign today in 2 Corinthians Paul talked about the thorn in his flesh and how when he is weak that is when he is made strong.
wow
one more time
wow
so now im not saying that i have some thorn in my flesh because when you study this i think that its much more than just a certain situation but something that you can not rid yourself of. God wouldn't take the thorn from Paul but instead chose to leave it there.
but also understand that God uses things to draw us closer to Him and mold us into what He wants us.
so understand that God is working and always is.
so now im waiting for the doors to be open somewhere else. thanks for the encouragement and love you all.
also for those of you bible junkies out there i read where it is actually a biblical principle to major on the majors and minor on the minors so look for this soon im sure there are people ready to argue but honestly im not looking for that just will relay some info that i gathered.
love you guys.
out
Monday, July 09, 2007
my struggle
i guess that i have struggled with what to write for about 18-24 hours now.
you see its hard for me to be very honest and yet show love. I was completely taken aback yesterday by the attendance at our church. How can you refuse to show up when you are most needed at your church and then come on a celebratory day for those of us who stuck with it. Frankly i don't know how God was pleased with our worship yesterday.
but that is not what im struggling with. See in no way am i perfect or would i ever think of claiming to be. But i also make this my goal 1 Timothy 4:12 as a young person growing up in church you always hear about how people shouldn't look down on you because of your youth and the message usually stops there.
but i've always taken and i do mean always cared about the "being an example" paul doesn't tell timothy "hey man don't let people get you down cuz of your age, you don't deserve that" instead its more like "hey tim, people shouldn't look down on you for your age but you have to be an example, you must put a priority on your lifestyle more than a priority on their criticism.
its also funny that speech is the first thing mentioned o be careful what you say.
but with this blog i want people to know the real me and i struggle to do so because of this verse sometimes. lately i have let more people "in" than ever before to what im thinking, to how i feel, and to my needs and desires but not everyone.
the reason why is because well im supposed to be above board im an example. I'm not a say one thing do another guy im an example, a hard worker, and im committed. it straight up makes me mad when i see the lack of commitment i saw the other day. it hurts, really hurts.
that people have so many bad things to say and be so just down right evil in their speech and can come into a worship service and praise God like nothing ever happened is just completely shocking.
but you know what i said hey God is a miracle working God and these people can change, this pastor has a heart for discipleship and really loves teaching the Holy Spirit will change some lives here.
at this same time im really starting to realize where my place is what im good at and embracing it with more passion and fervor than ever before. and yet i get the news from my parents that we are leaving.
do i know why? yes
am i upset? yes
do i blame them? not in the least bit
do i think its the right decision? honestly im not sure
so now that i have this passion this deep driving passion to teach young people i have to start all over again from scratch of being an example. you have to earn people's trust and devotion and i was beginning to do that. but now i have to start over.
and im just not sure why. why would i suddenly discover this passion and God take it away not just once but twice. not only that but have to start over from scratch. if you know me you know im not a sit and soak guy im completely the opposite.
so why? i have essentially 5 months left before the prospect of moving becomes a reality why now? why the distance?
before ya know kristen is in sc but i've still got my friends now those relationships are sure to take a dent. why? frankly im heart broken and i want you guys to understand my heart. its hard for me to let people in. im just tired.
its so hard. i try to smile and bear it like hey my fiance lives in another state but im doing awesome! but i just can't its too hard. im tired of the distance i can't fulfill my passion i just can't see where God is moving right now except for that im learning.
im tired of tears im tired of the struggles im just looking for the end of the valley and basically it looks like a 5 month old valley.
im not looking for answers or advice because i want God to answer my questions so if you have advice keep it to yourself. i don't want advice i just don't. and guess what you probably haven't been there. i'm sure your fiance didn't live about 12 hours away or go out of the country for a year. i just don't want advice.
but this is where im at. i don't what or how to feel and im just...
its just hard ya know.
so i need prayers i need encouragement and i need God more than anything else.
stay steadfast please. be honest and open and challenge people.
Crosspointe i pray that God would ultimately change you in a way that you can't see right now a way that i know God wants you to. Quit being mediocre start being great.
......
you see its hard for me to be very honest and yet show love. I was completely taken aback yesterday by the attendance at our church. How can you refuse to show up when you are most needed at your church and then come on a celebratory day for those of us who stuck with it. Frankly i don't know how God was pleased with our worship yesterday.
but that is not what im struggling with. See in no way am i perfect or would i ever think of claiming to be. But i also make this my goal 1 Timothy 4:12 as a young person growing up in church you always hear about how people shouldn't look down on you because of your youth and the message usually stops there.
but i've always taken and i do mean always cared about the "being an example" paul doesn't tell timothy "hey man don't let people get you down cuz of your age, you don't deserve that" instead its more like "hey tim, people shouldn't look down on you for your age but you have to be an example, you must put a priority on your lifestyle more than a priority on their criticism.
its also funny that speech is the first thing mentioned o be careful what you say.
but with this blog i want people to know the real me and i struggle to do so because of this verse sometimes. lately i have let more people "in" than ever before to what im thinking, to how i feel, and to my needs and desires but not everyone.
the reason why is because well im supposed to be above board im an example. I'm not a say one thing do another guy im an example, a hard worker, and im committed. it straight up makes me mad when i see the lack of commitment i saw the other day. it hurts, really hurts.
that people have so many bad things to say and be so just down right evil in their speech and can come into a worship service and praise God like nothing ever happened is just completely shocking.
but you know what i said hey God is a miracle working God and these people can change, this pastor has a heart for discipleship and really loves teaching the Holy Spirit will change some lives here.
at this same time im really starting to realize where my place is what im good at and embracing it with more passion and fervor than ever before. and yet i get the news from my parents that we are leaving.
do i know why? yes
am i upset? yes
do i blame them? not in the least bit
do i think its the right decision? honestly im not sure
so now that i have this passion this deep driving passion to teach young people i have to start all over again from scratch of being an example. you have to earn people's trust and devotion and i was beginning to do that. but now i have to start over.
and im just not sure why. why would i suddenly discover this passion and God take it away not just once but twice. not only that but have to start over from scratch. if you know me you know im not a sit and soak guy im completely the opposite.
so why? i have essentially 5 months left before the prospect of moving becomes a reality why now? why the distance?
before ya know kristen is in sc but i've still got my friends now those relationships are sure to take a dent. why? frankly im heart broken and i want you guys to understand my heart. its hard for me to let people in. im just tired.
its so hard. i try to smile and bear it like hey my fiance lives in another state but im doing awesome! but i just can't its too hard. im tired of the distance i can't fulfill my passion i just can't see where God is moving right now except for that im learning.
im tired of tears im tired of the struggles im just looking for the end of the valley and basically it looks like a 5 month old valley.
im not looking for answers or advice because i want God to answer my questions so if you have advice keep it to yourself. i don't want advice i just don't. and guess what you probably haven't been there. i'm sure your fiance didn't live about 12 hours away or go out of the country for a year. i just don't want advice.
but this is where im at. i don't what or how to feel and im just...
its just hard ya know.
so i need prayers i need encouragement and i need God more than anything else.
stay steadfast please. be honest and open and challenge people.
Crosspointe i pray that God would ultimately change you in a way that you can't see right now a way that i know God wants you to. Quit being mediocre start being great.
......
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Bad news
well after church today my parents told me that our family was leaving crosspointe. Various reasons for this decision mostly because of bad leadership (none of which by the way are actual "position leaders".
how do i feel? i feel like i need to obey my parents. Ex. 20:12
even when it hurts.
out
how do i feel? i feel like i need to obey my parents. Ex. 20:12
even when it hurts.
out
Thursday, July 05, 2007
real quick
im about to go to work but real quick how do you feel about God's sovereignty and man's responsibility. It obvious that both exist biblically but where are the boundaries any scripture you have would be awesome im ready to get waist deep in this stuff and im pumped about it.
what is our responsibility?
what are we held accountable for?
what choices are ours to make?
these are a few of the questions that i hope to answer. let me know what you guys think and questions that you might have that i will try to answer as i begin to study this difficult subject
out
what is our responsibility?
what are we held accountable for?
what choices are ours to make?
these are a few of the questions that i hope to answer. let me know what you guys think and questions that you might have that i will try to answer as i begin to study this difficult subject
out
well i have much to write about
well some interesting things have happened to me lately especially at work:
1. i took over a position that hasn't met a particular goal in a while and i met it already God is truly great!!!
2. i had to write myself up on the 6th day of running this area because of the problem. (6 days and im already under the microscope and i was pretty upset i came to fix the thing i did not cause it!!!)
3. I love the pressure the intensity that i put on myself to push my people and myself to go beyond the norm and be better.
4. i realized that the struggle with my call is more of fear of the unknown. I couldn't live my life without teaching the word (even if its to people that don't want to hear) I'm fearful that intense in your face teacher J.C. will tickle people's ears and not preach the word.
5. the idea of being responsible for two peoples lives seems much harder than just mine.
6. God is teaching me for sure but is the passion there am i seeking enough am i trying enough???
7. i am not satisfied
8. i am pumped about may of next year and have been practicing two words for like a month now!!!
9. Kristen is amazing and she always tells me like it is and pushes me to get better and gives me more confidence she is an unbelievable support to me already and our lives together are just about to truly begin
10. Memphis is the best basketball team in the country. Duke, Kentucky, UNC, Kansas nope the blue and gray. Let's go Blue!!!
1. i took over a position that hasn't met a particular goal in a while and i met it already God is truly great!!!
2. i had to write myself up on the 6th day of running this area because of the problem. (6 days and im already under the microscope and i was pretty upset i came to fix the thing i did not cause it!!!)
3. I love the pressure the intensity that i put on myself to push my people and myself to go beyond the norm and be better.
4. i realized that the struggle with my call is more of fear of the unknown. I couldn't live my life without teaching the word (even if its to people that don't want to hear) I'm fearful that intense in your face teacher J.C. will tickle people's ears and not preach the word.
5. the idea of being responsible for two peoples lives seems much harder than just mine.
6. God is teaching me for sure but is the passion there am i seeking enough am i trying enough???
7. i am not satisfied
8. i am pumped about may of next year and have been practicing two words for like a month now!!!
9. Kristen is amazing and she always tells me like it is and pushes me to get better and gives me more confidence she is an unbelievable support to me already and our lives together are just about to truly begin
10. Memphis is the best basketball team in the country. Duke, Kentucky, UNC, Kansas nope the blue and gray. Let's go Blue!!!
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
perplexed
as i coming to the end of my bachelor's degree (praise God im almost done) i find myself more perplexed than when i started.
it will take some explaining to clarify what i mean but understand that i am in no way upset or unsatisfied with where i'm at. God has me at this point in my life for a reason.
I'm learning so many new things im looking at God's word in a more powerful way and yet at the same time it just seems that i am not worthy for the brevity of the situation the world and our country is in and also that im just scared to be honest.
not in a way that everyone else says that they aren't worthy but really am not worthy. and totally frightened by the fact that my call might be to ministry.
we live in a society that is filled with so many different messages. and i am like paul in a way i feel perplexed
im not in despair but i am faced with a decision that i must make both i believe are viable decisions and while there are positive and negative aspects of both i realize that i am called to one and one alone i just don't know which one it is.
do i take the path of being a manager and executive a salesman that leads people and molds them into good men and that i would be able to provide a much better living and situation for my family?
or do i teach men about the word, about God and show them a life that is changed and committed and honest and real and sacrifice some of the better things for my family. by the way this means that my bride will always be in the spotlight and church people will just jump at the chance to slander me not to my face but hers and my children will bear the weight of being under a microscope and that not only will God judge along with their parents but also every member of the congregation that we are a part of?
am i confused yes am i growing impatient but i also know that there are many decisions in life like this. and i also understand that a man is not where he works but who he is.
but still the decision remains unanswered and i wait for the answer.
is it my decision to make? will it be made for me?
time will tell but know that me and my family need your prayers and more importantly God's hand in our lives. thanks for the time that you all take to read this blog and understand that i treasure each of your opinions.
i love you guys
GO GOD!!! YOU WILL TRIUMPH IN ALL THINGS!!!!
OUT....
it will take some explaining to clarify what i mean but understand that i am in no way upset or unsatisfied with where i'm at. God has me at this point in my life for a reason.
I'm learning so many new things im looking at God's word in a more powerful way and yet at the same time it just seems that i am not worthy for the brevity of the situation the world and our country is in and also that im just scared to be honest.
not in a way that everyone else says that they aren't worthy but really am not worthy. and totally frightened by the fact that my call might be to ministry.
we live in a society that is filled with so many different messages. and i am like paul in a way i feel perplexed
im not in despair but i am faced with a decision that i must make both i believe are viable decisions and while there are positive and negative aspects of both i realize that i am called to one and one alone i just don't know which one it is.
do i take the path of being a manager and executive a salesman that leads people and molds them into good men and that i would be able to provide a much better living and situation for my family?
or do i teach men about the word, about God and show them a life that is changed and committed and honest and real and sacrifice some of the better things for my family. by the way this means that my bride will always be in the spotlight and church people will just jump at the chance to slander me not to my face but hers and my children will bear the weight of being under a microscope and that not only will God judge along with their parents but also every member of the congregation that we are a part of?
am i confused yes am i growing impatient but i also know that there are many decisions in life like this. and i also understand that a man is not where he works but who he is.
but still the decision remains unanswered and i wait for the answer.
is it my decision to make? will it be made for me?
time will tell but know that me and my family need your prayers and more importantly God's hand in our lives. thanks for the time that you all take to read this blog and understand that i treasure each of your opinions.
i love you guys
GO GOD!!! YOU WILL TRIUMPH IN ALL THINGS!!!!
OUT....
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