Is this what passion is?

So after so much talking and thinking yesterday with my friends i went to church last night.

the message was pretty good and as always the Spirit can use God's word and He did again in my life. consecrated, committed, and consistent.

I don't believe that the consecration comes from myself(after all God calls us and sets us apart for His divine purposes) but the commitment and the consistency do. So God again worked on my heart but what i wanted to tell you guys was this.

Me and Jeff were talking about some profound things most involving where we are at personally and where we are going (which was a resounding not sure) but we also talked about emotion and in particular the Spirit of God and His presence in our lives.

It just seems that sometimes I don't feel the presence of God. All the time knowing that He will never leave me nor forsake me but just not "feeling" it. So yesterday before the service I asked God just let me feel your presence i want to feel you.

Now you are probably imagining crazy stories of people and their experiences with such things. But i want to assure you first of all that you might read this and be dissapointed that there weren't fireworks or flashes of light or explosions but I felt the Spirit inside of me...

I was told last night about an opportunity for the kids in my discipleship class. An opportunity to spend time with their new leader and also a chance to journey deeper with God. To be committed to something that will impact their lives.

The catch: the best time to do this was during the discipleship class hour. I was asked sincerely asked not ushered into or forced into but asked if I would be willing to give up my class so they could have this incredible opportunity.

For once it just wasn't about me...

I cried last night and was devastated that my class was gone. For you teachers out there, there is no greater joy than teaching teachable people. I felt the Spirit inside of me grieve but reassurance that this was God's sovereignty working itself out not only for the students but also for me and Kristen.

Now i have to go back to teaching kids that frankly could care less about learning. I'm being negative and some might even say that im putting a limit on God but understand that I'm not but its just not the same teaching people that want to learn and grow and expecting to teach those that just don't get it (jeff you feel me here, i know)

So pray for me, and more importantly for those kids. They are going through the roughest part intellectually in their lives and they need a guide. Maybe God wants to use me in the class that i will be going to, or maybe its just another part of the separation process. I don't know God hasn't revealed that but i know that im going to miss that class but im thankful that God answered my prayer.

I felt His presence, thank you...

:)

out