Who Am I?

well i know this is a weird subject but i wanted to write it for me and for those of you wondering where im at in life.

I've been struggling to find direction in my life and not general direction but specific direction. I know where I'm going but not what im doing when i get there if that makes any sense.

Well in that time i have had some time to think and have came up with things that i have learned about myself in the past few months:

I'm a hard worker who isn't working hard enough.

I've got potential but im not sure how much of it or how or through what way.

I think im ready but im scared.

I'm confused and i don't get confused.

I'm encouraged by my mom because she actually said i would be preaching one day (never did that)

I'm tired school, work, life is tough.

I'm fed up.

I talk a big game but if i backed up half of what i said i would be more of a man that i could ever imagine.

I say that i live for the next life but im not sure that i do sometimes.

God loves me and is not confused at all and yet all i do is worry lately.

I see competition as a relief from reality and that's why im competitive its my element its where i succeed.

I'm a Thompson we survive more under pressure situations than any family i can think of.

I want to learn to play golf.

I'm anxious to see what God wants me to do yet at the same time scared that i won't do it.

I'm learning that truthfulness is a scary part of life. Not something they tell you about in Disney movies.

I'm scared, I'm confused and not in control. I have God to lead me and i can't hear Him sometimes. Its the truth i need guidance and comfort yet i know that it can only come from God. So again like most of my life im stuck waiting.

It sucks where I'm at. I'm usually a sight for people without hope i bring an example of stability for the younger people around me but now its like im starting over.

I wish i knew my exact mission in life it would make life easier. But i didn't come into this world easy and i didn't sign up for the easy life either. So i guess ill have to wait to find out who i really am and who i am going to be.

cuz right now im just confused.

I'm out!!!